Thankful

Well, it's that time of year again.    The time for family, food, fun...... fighting, anger, frustrations....

I don't know about you guys, but I have a love/hate relationship with holidays. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I just think it might be nice to spend a holiday alone, or with someone who isn't in my immediate family, you know? Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. I don't know. All I know is that as much as I love my family, sometimes we bug each other. Sometimes we butt heads. And sometimes I just wanna get in my car and drive away.

But you know what? Even in the frustration, I am constantly reminded that I am so so blessed to have them. Yeah, my family can be a little nuts, but whose isn't? Life is no fun without a little crazy. 

So instead of focusing on the frustrations, I want to take a little time to list some people that I am thankful for.

Mom - thanks for always telling me that you love me, for never giving up on me.... even when I was going through my stupid years. I love you

Daddy - Thank you for always pushing me to go for my dreams and always telling me that I can be anyone and anything I want to be. You are the reason I have always pushed myself to be the best I can be... specifically in music. You're the best dad ever. 

Casey - I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll just start by saying that I loaf you. ;) You are the best big sister that I could have ever asked for. Even when we want to beat the snot out of each other, I know you'll always love me and I'll always love you. You're my opposite but you're my best friend.

Adam - You've basically been my big brother for forever. You're an awesome brother-in-law, a great example of how a man should treat his wife, and a genuinely fantastic guy. I couldn't ask for a better brother. You're perfect for my sister and I am so glad that God put you two together.

Bree - You've been my best friend through so much. You've put up with my stubbornnes and been just as stubborn right back to me. You've been my shoulder to cry on, my listening ear, and the one person in my life that I can be 100% myself with. There's no one in the world like you. You're my soul sister. I can't even begin to describe how much I love you.

Angela - God definitely knew what He was up to when He planned for us to meet. You're the little sister I never had. You're one of the sweetest, most kind-hearted people I know. I still don't understand how we're friends. haha. But I am so grateful we are. I love you so much and I am so glad that you are pretty much a part of my family. 

Kris and Sarah - You guys seriously have no idea the impact you have made on my life. I wouldn't be who I am today without the wisdom I have gained from you both. You always told me the truth, even when it was hard to hear and even when I didn't want to hear it. I love you both.

Bethany, Kim, Emily, Brooke, Meredith, and Karissa - Y'all we're seriously the best leadership I could have ever hoped for, for my first year at Liberty. You are all so gracious and loving and wonderful. I am so blessed beyond belief to know you.

Jessica - We have become friends so quickly that it feels like I have known you for years... even though it's only been a couple months. I am so thankful that I started going to GospelCC and our community group. Meeting you is one of the best things that has happened this fall. Love you so much, girl. I'm looking forward to growing, learning, and serving with you. 




I would encourage all of you to really think about the people you are thankful for and tell them. You never know how much just a simple "I am thankful you are in my life" can mean. 
I love you all
Jesus loves you more. 
-Kate             

Sometimes I just need to vent.

Hey guys.

So let me just say that today was, for the most part, a disaster. I went to bed Monday night thinking it was Tuesday, so I set my alarm for the wrong time. So, I started the day off rushing, which is never fun. Then I went to classes, which were thankfully pretty normal. After class I was gonna go grab some lunch. It was a Drenchburg kind of day so I was hoping to get to my car quickly. Some car drove through a puddle and threw water ALL OVER ME. Then while, continuing to my car, I slipped and fell in a puddle. Now I have a lovely bruise on my hip.
Thanks Pavement....
So I ended up having to go home, which was not my intention.
Freshman choir was no fun today... I think it was mainly just because I was having a bad day.
Thankfully, after classes were over, my day got better. I did two haircuts, put another cut on my schedule for tomorrow, talked to my mom and my sister, and got to sit down and snuggle with my kitten for a bit. At least until she decided to go into attack cat mode. Also, I got an email from my new voice teacher. (YAY!)
Anyway, tomorrow is a new day... and actually, Wednesday is one of my favorite days of the week. I love my community group on Wednesday evenings. :) Also, I should be getting some stuff in the mail to make wreaths for my house. I'm ready to get my craft on.

Alrighty, I'm done now.
Love you all.
-Kate

Find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the LORD; He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust Him. For He will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with His feathers. He will shelter you with His wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. Just open your eyes and see how the wicked are punished. 

If you make the LORD your refuge, if you will make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you, no plague will come near your home. For He will protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone. You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

The LORD says, 'I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.'" Psalm 91

 Have you ever just stopped and thought about how faithful God is? For most of us, the answer to that question is yes. Have you ever thought about His faithfulness when you're in the middle of a situation where you have absolutely no idea what to do or how things will turn out? Yeahhhh that's a little tougher.... 

I'm gonna be honest. This semester is proving to be really hard for me. I'm not talking about my classes, though those are challenging. I'm just talking about life in general. I realllllly just want to be back in North Carolina with my family more than anything right now. I know that God wants me where I am though. I'm not sure what I am supposed to be doing besides school but I know He has a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that clearly. It's just frustrating not knowing what to do. I feel like I lack purpose. And for anyone who knows me, you know that I need to feel like I have a purpose for being here. I need to be needed.

Another hard aspect is that I am So. Lonely. All the time. I miss my family. I miss my friends from my hall from last year. Even though most of us are still here, it's not the same being off campus. I feel a lack of connection. Living on a hall, you can kind of take it for granted that you have people around all the time. Living off campus shows you really quickly just how lonely life can be. I mean, I have 4 roommates and a cat, but my roommates and I all have really different schedules and I don't want to be a cat lady so.... yeah... it get's lonely. But you know what? Within my loneliness, I am learning. I'm learning to know God and trust that He is sufficient for anything I could ever need in life. He is drawing me closer to Him in ways that I couldn't have ever imagined. I am learning every day just how awesome the God of the universe is.

I can't even begin to explain how thankful I am that God got a hold of my life and my heart. I honestly have no doubts that I wouldn't be here if He hadn't woken me up. I was at a point where I was so desperate to feel something that if I didn't get to a point where I felt alive that I was ready to end it all. It's true when people say that Jesus radically changes lives. The change I have seen in my life is proof enough for me. So while I may not really be content right now, I know this unrest is here for a reason. Maybe He is getting me ready to move forward to something that I never imagined. Or maybe He is wanting to show me something I need to let go of so He isn't letting me settle until it's gone. All I know is that I have to continue to pray and seek His will.

So I guess this post is mainly to ask you all to pray for me. Pray that I stay on the path He has in store for me and that I won't stray off on my own. 
Maybe you're dealing with something similar. Maybe He pushed me to post this to be an encouragement that you are not alone. 
As always, if any of you ever need me to pray for you, or if you just need a friend, know that I am always here.

I love you all.

Jesus loves you more.

Kati

Just as a warning.

Uplands Reach. More commonly known as URCC.... Some of the kids from my church are there this week for Junior Camp. I guess some people have good memories of that place... I don't. All I remember is the favoritism shown toward some kids and the sense of not being good enough poured over others. I was, unfortunately, one of the ones who never felt good enough to be there. The last time I was there, I could count on one hand the number of people who actually even spoke to me... and that's including the so called "leaders" of that place.
The favoritism, as much of a problem as it is, is not my biggest beef with the place. I am a firm believer that God calls people to His salvation. You can't be scared into it through the hellfire and brimstone preaching. I'm sorry but that just doesn't work. I know that from my own experience. I thought I was "saved" when I was 14 at Teen Camp, but I was wrong. Very wrong. I know that the Word must be taught, but please, find a way to not make it terrifying. Preaching the stuff that "If you don't get saved tonight, you might die and spend eternity in the flames of hell." don't you think that's enough to make all those kids up there get "saved"? From my own life, I can tell you that that kind of "salvation" isn't real. At least it wasn't for me. The "camp high" lasted for like a week but there was no real change. For me, real salvation came when I was 19. Ironically, when a guest group from Uplands Reach was at my church. While I like the people as people, I have zero respect for the camp itself. It screwed up my understanding of what a relationship with Jesus really is.

So for those of you who go to/support/work at the camp, be wary. Pay attention. But ultimately that's your decision. I'm just stating my experience and opinions.

This is not meant to offend. Just meant to warn.

Sometimes life is hard

I've been thinking today about how very blessed I am. 

It's been a really hard day, not gonna lie. But beyond the hard stuff, I have such a blessed life. I have parents who love me. My sister and her husband are my best friends. Outside of my family, I have  most amazing friends I could ask for. The ones who are deeply involved in my life all share the same values and same core beliefs. We encourage each other and always push each other to dig deeper into our faith. 
Yes, I have been cut off by someone who I love very much. It hurts... a lot. But God knows what He's doing. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. His grace is sufficient for me. So even though I am hurting and I have honestly cried a lot today, ultimately, God has a plan. I just have to have the faith to trust Him. I hate asking for help, but I could really use some friends in my life right now. I just need my loved ones to rally around me and encourage me when I am doing the right thing and hold me accountable when I stumble. So please, if you are one of my dear ones, just let me know that you're here.

I love you all.

Those who dwell in the shadow of the Almighty find rest in the shelter of the Most High. -Psalm 91:1

loved ones lost

By the title of this you'd probably think someone died.....

I honestly feel like a part of me has.

The person I have been best friends with for 3 or 4 years won't talk to me anymore.
I had a feeling this would happen. I knew it would hurt but I couldn't imagine this kind of intense pain.

I knew when I started taking my faith seriously that I would lose friends. It's a cost I was, and still am willing to pay. It's worth it. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. I have been crying for a while now and I don't see these tears stopping any time soon.

When you invest your time and life in someone and you trust them and they trust you with things that a lot of other people don't know, only to have that person abandon you because of differences in beliefs. It hurts. Realllllly bad.

I don't know if this friendship is over for just a while or forever. But I can promise that it's a friendship that I will never forget. I love all of my friends equally. No matter what lifestyle they live, what political party they follow, or what they do or don't believe. I was not placed in this world to judge. I'm here to love.

To my friend:  You know who you are. I don't know if you will ever read this or if you even care what I have to say anymore. But if there's one thing I want you to know, it's that I love you and I will never stop loving you and praying for you.

²  Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

⁵  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ⁶ But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.   -James 1:2-6



But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. -2 Corinthians 12:9

 

Settle My Soul

Oh, this aching in my soul. This burning desire for companionship. God, why have you kept me single? Why are You waiting to send that one for whom my heart desires my way? I see my friends who are my age in happy, serious relationships, some getting engaged, and some getting married. What about me? Do You have someone out there for me?
  God, I would settle for just a close friend. Someone with whom I could pour my heart out too. You know my heart and You know my trust issues. God, You know that sometimes I even have a hard time trusting You, even though I know that You are the only One who will never abandon me.
  Abba, I am so lonely. You have seen the tears that I cry. You have heard my desperate thoughts. You have felt my pain when I see my friends and then am reminded that I am alone. God, please make me content. I say that I am okay with my life but You know that I yearn for so much more. Settle my soul, Jesus. Be my Jehovah Shalom. I need peace so much right now. God, I just want to be where You want me  to be. Please, just be my comfort. Be my rest. Be my friend.
-Your daughter

To the one for whom my soul desires,

   If you exist, know that I love you. More than anything, I want to be by your side to be your one and only. I want to be your other half. I want to be your bride. If you're out there, I am dreaming of the day I meet you. If you are feeling the loneliness that I feel, I pray that God will comfort you as well. He will bring us together when the time is right.

-Your future bride