Sometimes life is hard

I've been thinking today about how very blessed I am. 

It's been a really hard day, not gonna lie. But beyond the hard stuff, I have such a blessed life. I have parents who love me. My sister and her husband are my best friends. Outside of my family, I have  most amazing friends I could ask for. The ones who are deeply involved in my life all share the same values and same core beliefs. We encourage each other and always push each other to dig deeper into our faith. 
Yes, I have been cut off by someone who I love very much. It hurts... a lot. But God knows what He's doing. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. His grace is sufficient for me. So even though I am hurting and I have honestly cried a lot today, ultimately, God has a plan. I just have to have the faith to trust Him. I hate asking for help, but I could really use some friends in my life right now. I just need my loved ones to rally around me and encourage me when I am doing the right thing and hold me accountable when I stumble. So please, if you are one of my dear ones, just let me know that you're here.

I love you all.

Those who dwell in the shadow of the Almighty find rest in the shelter of the Most High. -Psalm 91:1

loved ones lost

By the title of this you'd probably think someone died.....

I honestly feel like a part of me has.

The person I have been best friends with for 3 or 4 years won't talk to me anymore.
I had a feeling this would happen. I knew it would hurt but I couldn't imagine this kind of intense pain.

I knew when I started taking my faith seriously that I would lose friends. It's a cost I was, and still am willing to pay. It's worth it. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. I have been crying for a while now and I don't see these tears stopping any time soon.

When you invest your time and life in someone and you trust them and they trust you with things that a lot of other people don't know, only to have that person abandon you because of differences in beliefs. It hurts. Realllllly bad.

I don't know if this friendship is over for just a while or forever. But I can promise that it's a friendship that I will never forget. I love all of my friends equally. No matter what lifestyle they live, what political party they follow, or what they do or don't believe. I was not placed in this world to judge. I'm here to love.

To my friend:  You know who you are. I don't know if you will ever read this or if you even care what I have to say anymore. But if there's one thing I want you to know, it's that I love you and I will never stop loving you and praying for you.

²  Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

⁵  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ⁶ But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.   -James 1:2-6



But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. -2 Corinthians 12:9

 

Settle My Soul

Oh, this aching in my soul. This burning desire for companionship. God, why have you kept me single? Why are You waiting to send that one for whom my heart desires my way? I see my friends who are my age in happy, serious relationships, some getting engaged, and some getting married. What about me? Do You have someone out there for me?
  God, I would settle for just a close friend. Someone with whom I could pour my heart out too. You know my heart and You know my trust issues. God, You know that sometimes I even have a hard time trusting You, even though I know that You are the only One who will never abandon me.
  Abba, I am so lonely. You have seen the tears that I cry. You have heard my desperate thoughts. You have felt my pain when I see my friends and then am reminded that I am alone. God, please make me content. I say that I am okay with my life but You know that I yearn for so much more. Settle my soul, Jesus. Be my Jehovah Shalom. I need peace so much right now. God, I just want to be where You want me  to be. Please, just be my comfort. Be my rest. Be my friend.
-Your daughter

To the one for whom my soul desires,

   If you exist, know that I love you. More than anything, I want to be by your side to be your one and only. I want to be your other half. I want to be your bride. If you're out there, I am dreaming of the day I meet you. If you are feeling the loneliness that I feel, I pray that God will comfort you as well. He will bring us together when the time is right.

-Your future bride